How to tell someone I’m not interested

+11 votes
asked Jan 30, 2018 in Relationships by katelyn (690 points)
edited Jul 29, 2019 by Kris
I just got back into dating and recently met someone online, who I’ve gone on two dates with now. She’s a very sweet person, but I can already tell that it’s just not right for me. The last thing I want is to hurt her feelings because she really is nice, but I’m not interested in a relationship and want to let her down easy. How do I tell someone I’m not interested?

3 Answers

+30 votes
answered Feb 10, 2019 by DeborahLeyva (350 points)
edited Jun 20, 2019
It’s hard to confront people when you know you’re about to disappoint them, and I know all too well what it’s like to want to just disappear and avoid the mess altogether so that you don’t hurt their feelings. However, this always ends up being more upsetting for the other person! The best way to solve your problem “how to tell someone I’m not interested” is to simply be mature about it and tell them directly. As long as you don’t beat around the bush or leave them hanging, they’ll end up being thankful in the end that you didn’t play them and were up front about your feelings. The worst thing you can do is just let it linger or let them think that you want more than you actually do.
+7 votes
answered May 25, 2019 by XavierHaenke (300 points)
edited Jul 14, 2019
I think a good rule of thumb for any situation when dealing with someone else is that honesty is the key. To tell someone you’re not interested, just be completely honest with them. Don’t let them down easy by making up excuses or giving them false hope. There are no guarantees in dating, that’s the whole reason why you go on a few dates in the first place to get to know each other. Anyone who is mature enough to be dating will understand that there are risks involved and no date is a definite match.
+6 votes
answered Jun 30, 2018 by jennice (630 points)
edited Jul 23, 2019
When considering “how to tell someone I’m not interested,” it’s important to keep in mind that how you say it means just as much as what you say. Part of figuring out what to say in the first place depends on what kind of vibe you’re getting from them. Some people are satisfied with a simple “no thank you”, while others might question you and ask for a more detailed explanation. Regardless of how you approach it, make sure to sound sincere and gentle in your tone instead of completely disinterested or mocking. As long as the other person doesn’t feel like you’ve put them down or put blame on them for things not working, then they should understand it.
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