How to turn off emotions?

Question

I am a young woman in my mid 20’s and I have a bad background of emotional abuse and bruising. I was raised up by a divorced mother after unbearable abuse from my dad. Personally, I have undergone bad emotional traumas and the last one is the collapse of my marriage of 2 years when my husband took off with my college friend. I am badly hurt and I no longer know how to hide my emotions. Please help.

Answer 1

I am very sorry for what you went through. But, I congratulate you for your courage to open up and refuse to live in denial. This means that you are one foot closer to the solution.

The first thing you need to know is that you cannot treat a closed wound. You have to open it first before any form of treatment is administered. The level of your case needs professional intervention and some time to heal.

Take some time and talk to a professional counselor or trained clergy. This will do better because you need personal attention and monitoring.

Answer 2

The only advice that I will give you is that you are not alone in this. Other women out there have gone through the same and even worse situations than yours and have overcome. Look for those who have successfully gone through that and share with them. Their experience will motivate you to work towards a solution. Don’t glue yourself to those who are still undergoing the same pain because they will hurt you further. In fact, the best they can offer you is a pity party chorus and keep in mind that the sick cannot treat the sick. So, get to those who have overcome either in person or through reading their stories for inspiration and courage.

Answer 3

How to turn off emotions? It is a hard question though it looks and sounds simple from the outside. However, there are possible, but not easy, ways of turning off and getting over emotions.

First, you need to understand that you are human and expressing legitimate emotions is neither folly nor weakness.

Second, you have to understand that people can be one of the greatest causes of emotional damage. You may not have control over what people choose to do or not to do to you. But you can still help to at least reverse your emotional reactions, no matter how hard it might be.

Third, one of the best, but hardest, ways of dealing with emotions arising from abuse and betrayal is forgiveness. There is no way that someone can convince you that you will just forget and “hide off” those emotions without deciding to deal with the cause through forgiveness. This is to your benefit because you are the one who is hurt, but the fact that your husband took off with your friend seems to benefit them, at least for now. This means that when you forgive the two, you are actually setting free an innocent prisoner, and that innocent prisoner is you. This is the only way that will guarantee permanent healing because trying to suppress the pain or hold a grudge will only hurt you more.