Why can't i get over him?

Question

My first major long-term boyfriend and I just broke up, and it’s been a really difficult separation. We dated for just over 3 years. I recognize that he’s bad for me and we shouldn’t be together, but no matter how hard I try, I still can’t move on. My friends and family keep telling me to just forget about him, but it’s not that easy. Why can’t I get over him?

Answer 1

It might not be the same in your situation, but when my first major boyfriend and I broke up, he started talking to another girl within two weeks. That really upset me and had me hung up on him way longer than I should have been. Constantly thinking about his relationship with another girl and how that should be you and not her could be a big reason why you can’t get over him. In all honesty, he’s probably not acting any differently than he did with you and will most likely continue to make the same mistakes. So consider yourself that he’s moved on! You don’t have to deal with that anymore and have so much ahead of you.

Answer 2

When someone breaks up with you, it’s hard to not take it personally. Thinking something is wrong with you and that you’re the only reason why the breakup happened is why you asked “why can’t I get over him?” This is never true though, a relationship takes two people to both make it and break it. Try looking at things objectively. Sometimes two people just don’t work together, but eventually you’ll find someone that suits your needs and vice versa.

Answer 3

No one likes being rejected, and your ego might be the reason why you can’t get over him. Think about the reasons why you want him back. Is it just to soothe a bruised ego? It might be your self-esteem that wants him, not you! Letting him continue to hurt you just hurts your ego worse, but moving on shows a lot of self worth.

Answer 4

We tend to self ourselves out the longer we are with someone by starting to tolerate and accept behaviors and react differently than we normally would. If you’ve become someone different because of your relationship, you can’t get over him because he’s the reason you are the person you are now. This isn’t something that you should accept though! Consider it an opportunity to get back to being you again. Do the things you want to do and what makes you happy because the only person you have to focus on making happy is you.