Why don't I want to have sex?

+81 votes
asked Sep 17, 2018 in Health & Wellness by Enid (920 points)
edited Jan 16, 2019
I’m a 32-year-old mother of three young children and I’m married to a handsome, virile man who treats me great. I love him very much but lately every time he gives me ‘that look’ I find myself cringing and making up excuses to not have sex with him. What’s wrong with me? I use to look forward to making love with my husband, but now it just doesn’t interest me. Why don’t I want to have sex anymore?

2 Answers

+25 votes
answered May 21, 2019 by Mareva (640 points)
edited Aug 3, 2019
I know how you feel. I’ve been in that same boat, especially when our kids were small; and many other women share the same sentiments so you are not alone. There are a number of different factors that can screw with your libido. One of the most likely culprits is stress. You’ve got kids to take care of, a house to maintain, and a hundred and one things on your to-do list. You didn’t mention working outside the home but many women do and that only adds to the overload. It’s hard to switch straight from feeling like a busy machine into a sex kitten at a moment’s notice.

Make a real effort to work date night into your schedule at least twice a month, even if that only means sending the kids to the grandparents for a few hours or overnight so you and your hubby can share some alone time to just relax and be together. Take time to learn to talk to each other again, cuddle up and watch a movie together, and rediscover the joy of kissing. You might be right back in the whirlwind the next day, but those few hours of closeness can make life so much more pleasant.
+10 votes
answered Apr 4, 2019 by Codi (770 points)
edited May 16, 2019
Why don't I want to have sex? Because you have three children, I wouldn’t be surprised if your taking birth control pills now. Contrarily, the pill you use to allow you to have carefree sex is also the pill that can strip away your sex drive. While you’re on the pill, you no longer have that midmonth rush of estrogen near ovulation time that makes you want to get busy in the bedroom. It also decreases the amount of free testosterone in your system and that hormone kick starts your libido.

Maybe it’s time to talk to your doctor about a different form of birth control. I hear IUD’s work well without interfering with you desires.
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