Why men lose interest?

Question

I’m getting so frustrated with dating because it seems like every time I find a guy I like and things are going well, he disappears after a month or so. After the chase is over and the newness wears off, they just lose interest. I would think it was something about me, but my best girl friends have this same problem. Why men lose interest so fast? How do I keep them around and interested for more than the first few dates?

Answer 1

Kind of like you said, guys love the chase. They love the feeling of a new girl finding them attractive, smart, and funny and will pursue you just to prove that they can win you. Men lose interest once they don’t have anything to prove anymore and will go after a new girl to start the process all over. It’s one big ego boost! So unfortunately with a lot of guys, you actually wanting to be with them and showing how much you like them is the end game for them even though it’s a signal of the beginning for you. Try figuring out their motive for dating and what kind of relationship they’re looking for before assuming too much or trusting too quickly. There are men that are going to want what you do, but they might be hard to see if you keep going after the ones on this ego trip.

Answer 2

Well, you can pinpoint the problem with the woman in the relationship itself. Not that the men is not to blame, disappearing with no goodbyes is just rude. When you two started dating, the girl would tend to be more easygoing and laid back. She is still at the stage that you want to explore the possibilities with the man and see if he is worth the time. Starting out was fun and enjoyable, you two seems to like each other enough. After a few dates with a guy, most women start to rush a little on the possibilities for a long-term relationship. So, girls start investing in the fantasy of future together.

She is now no longer in the date for what it is, but for what it could be. That is the problem, instead of focusing on the present, she is distracted by her own fantasy. She starts stressing out, afraid of losing something they never really had yet. This insecurities and fears would only seep into the dates and her interaction with her “future” partner. Rather than trying to be with the person right in front of her, she stayed with the illusion in her head. She is busier about how their distance in the relationship is currently at, rather than focusing on the guy, and so he left since the girl he though he knew turn into an emotionally imbalanced and attention seeking.

Answer 3

I had a guy friend tell me once that he would start to lose interest in girls once they started liking him because he felt like something must be wrong with her if she actually liked him back. Their own insecurities can be why men lose interest once you start showing real interest in them. If he doesn’t feel worthy of you in the first place then he might talk himself into losing interest. These kinds of guys are emotionally unavailable and not really looking for or capable of having a relationship. They might still pursue you at first because they like the idea of having a girlfriend, but once they have to put the effort in they realize they aren’t ready for it yet.

Answer 4

If you’re like me, and most every other woman, then you’ve had a bad relationship that probably really changed your attitude once you decided to give the dating world another try. Being too overbearing about making a statement and being independent can make men lose interest pretty fast. It’s great that you want to be your own woman, but there’s definitely such a thing as being independent to a point that you scare everyone else away. Showing off the fact that you’re perfectly fine alone will start making him think you don’t need him in your life so why should he be there.

Answer 5

Why men lose interest, and pretty fast? Some guys just love the chase. It's fun to get women to find you funny, smart, attractive and simply irresistible. Well, the guy is more insecure and wants the attention from the girls to assure his own confidence. They do everything to get the girl, just to prove themselves that they can. Then she started showing interest once he gets her, so he doesn’t need to prove himself anymore. Fear of commitment is common and so he runs away, moving on to the next target for the ego boost he needs. The cycle continues and you end up with a guy that just disappear once you show any sign of interest.